Just wanted to let everyone know that although I did fall off the face of the planet for a while, I have found my way back...and I will be posting up some new (and some old) work that needs to be put up...

Hope everyone is well!!

Send me love....I need, badly, to get out of my phunk!










Definition of stupidity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and actually getting different results.

10 Most Annoying Things Parents Say:

Q: What college do you wanna go to?
-College?! Surviving elementary school was hard enough! How the hell should I know?!

Q: What do you wanna be when you grow up?
-Umm, I dunno, It's 1 in the afternoon, I just woke up; can't I get some alone time to play video games?

Q: If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?
-Hell effin Yea I would!

Q: What did you do in school today?
-Its school, what the hell do you think I was doing? Sleeping!

Q: Did you finish your homework?
-Trust me, "my dog ate it" just doesn't cut it when your talking to your own parent.

Q: What were you doing alone in your room with your girlfriend?
-Studying the human anatomy, now leave us alone! She's giving me another practice test.

Q: Who said you can do that?!
-The lil demon on my shoulder >.>

Q: Does every thing I tell you go in one ear and out the other?
-*light breeze whisshes by*

Q: Do I look like a maid to you?!
- Believe me, you look nothing like the maids I've seen online.

Q: Who Killed Roger Rabbit?!
-Sorry, thats before my time; the only rabbit I know is the Energizer Bunny; he just keeps going... and going.

P.E.T.A.

People for the
Eating of
Tasty
Animals...

When god created women...
He should have supplied us with a set of instructions...

Fun fact: Its impossible to lick your elbows
Better fact: You just tried that, didn't you?

fun fact: because of viagra, some old people are probably getting it on right now.

Fun Fact: even though the price of gas is rising, the price of strippers aren't.

WOMAN'S POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man,
who's not a creep
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.



MAN'S POEM
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

The phrase "money doesn't buy happiness" should end with "just kidding"

glitter is the herpes of craft supplies...

LOOKOUT FOR THE BUNNY-NINJAS!!!

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.

It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?

Do the little voices in ur head ever tell you to go feed the kangaroos at the zoo? Well, mine do...

Last night, my friend came to visit..
We were talking and I said to her,
'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'
She got up, unplugged my computer and threw out my wine.
She's such a bitch...

STRANGER DANGER! My mommy says never talk to Creepy Mental cases like you